A Little from Column A, A Little from Column B...

The NFL’s been buzzing with activity the past week. As if mock drafts, roster breakdowns, and morbid obsessions with Mel Kiper’s hair weren’t enough, many high-profile names have been exercising their freedom of speech. Here’s a quick rundown…

•    Looks like Pacman has got his wish. The trouble corner landed in Dallas in exchange for the 126th overall pick (fourth round) in this weekend’s draft. Also, according to ESPN’s Ed Werder, if Pacman is reinstated soon and plays a viable amount of time in 2008, the Titans could receive another pick in ’09. And if Goodell decides he’s had enough of the gun-toting, money-flashing, strip club connoisseur, the Cowboys get the Titans’ fourth-round pick next year. Jones made his wishes known this past month, voicing his desire to be traded if he returned to the gridiron. Jerry Jones is notorious for providing a new home to players with checkered pasts like T.O. and Tank Johnson, and Pacman fits right into this mold. If Big D wins a Super Bowl with these three guys on their roster, it’d be perfectly epitomized by the scene near the end of The Darjeeling Limited, when Wes Anderson bludgeons us over the head with the symbolism of Luke Wilson, Adrian Brody, and Jason Schwartzmann leaving their father’s baggage (quite literally, no joke) behind for good. Dallas’ secondary is already above average with Anthony Henry and Terrence Newman. Roy Williams is completely overrated, but if Pacman shows up determined and physically conditioned, and Newman can stay healthy the whole season, they could rival any team’s DBs. It’ll be interesting to see if the Cowboys will be able to cope with the issues that Pacman brings with him.

•    Bad News Bears: The Vikings roped in last season’s sack leader, Jared Allen, from the Chiefs earlier this week, sending them a first-round pick (17th overall) and two third-round picks while also swapping sixth-round picks. They should’ve thrown in fifty bucks and a case of Heineken to boot. The Vikings are forking over tons to get a guy who’s been in the league for a handful of years and has only really had one breakout season. What’s even more astonishing is the fact that Allen’s been charged with three DUIs in the last four years – is this not a concern? What is there to do in Minnesota besides drink? I’m from the Midwest and we take our alcohol very seriously. We stare into our beers and guzzle them down without haste, concentrating solely on getting drunk. This is what Allen will be doing in the cab of his pickup truck at three in the morning, completely engulfed in a sparse Minnesota steppe. Still, this will hurt a lot once October rolls around. The league’s best run defense in 2007 just got that much better. As for the Chiefs, they now have six picks in the top eighty-two. Jesus. Too bad they can’t draft a coach.

•    The Redskins are trying desperately to put some weapons around Jason Campbell, but they’re getting shot down like the smelly kid in high school. Both the Cardinals and Bengals have declined offers for Anquan Boldin and Chad Johnson, respectively. Both receivers are distancing themselves from their organizations as of late because of contract disputes and unsatisfactory working conditions. Boldin made no secret about his resentment after Arizona re-signed Larry Fitzgerald to a four-year deal earlier in the offseason. Similarly, Johnson is incredibly disgruntled, threatening to sit out the season in order to force a trade. Cincinnati denied the ‘Skins offer of their 2008 first-rounder (21st overall) and a 2009 third-rounder for the receiver and has stated its intention of calling his bluff. By now the other Bengals must be turning on Ocho Cinco. Houshmandzadeh has already put in his two cents, saying there’ll definitely be a “problem” if Chad isn’t dealt. Could one of these guys land in the Windy City? My thoughts say unlikely, though Boldin seems to fit the Bears’ character more; Johnson is too outlandish for the conservative organization. Boldin would immediately shoot to the top of our receiver depth chart if brought in and would make an excellent possession receiver. He’s got powerful legs, great hands, and could be good for 90-100 receptions, 1,000+ yards, and 7-8 TDs in Turner’s system… Wait, Bears! Get on this!

•    AND the Big One: What’s the deal with Urlacher? He’s been skipping voluntary workouts in an attempt to get a contract extension from the Bears, and Angelo’s not having any of it. The franchise player for Chicago, Urlacher’s current deal is for nine years and $56 million, according to published reports. This would keep him in the Windy City through 2011. The Bears recently offered him a one-year extension with $5 million guaranteed and future incentives dependent on playing time, but the linebacker is seeking a multi-year deal with more guaranteed money. Of course, images of Urlacher hunched over, holding his arthritic back immediately come to mind, but here’s hoping that’s not the case; Angelo claims the rehab from neck surgery is going well and everyone expects #54 to be fully healthy for 2008. This is a bit tricky – on the one hand, it’d show great prescience if the front office locked the face of the franchise up for a few more years before he bolts for an inordinate amount of cash to another team. Still, it’s good to see Angelo sticking to his guns and standing firm. Urlacher’s denied reports he wants to be traded, so this seems like another overblown offseason plotline conjured by the media. Urlacher loves Chicago and will stay for now, and the Bears will reward him with a new contract in due time.

•    AND a Post-Script: Rashied Davis signed a three-year deal with Chicago through the 2010 season. The former Arena Leaguer saw his production dwindle last season with the (ahem) expanded role of Hester, but Davis does have a knack for big plays: he caught a 24-yard TD pass from Grossman in the closing minutes of a Week 3 game at Minnesota in ’06 to give us the W; and he also set up Gould’s game-winning FG with a 30-yard catch in the divisional round against Seattle on the subsequent Super Bowl run. He may not be consistent, but if he could provide us with a handful of clutch, big plays over the year, he’ll be worth every penny. Did someone say David Tyree?